When my husband and I started dating, he always cooked for me. Sometimes it was the romantic, courting type of cooking, but more often than not, it was just a normal dinner. If he didn’t feel like cooking, he would announce we were going out for dinner. One night, about a year into our relationship, I invited him to my house and cooked him a gourmet, 4-course dinner. When we sat down to eat, he looked at me with a blank stare and said, “You can cook?” I simply smiled and replied, “You never asked.”
Now that we have been married almost 4 years, the dynamic in our kitchen has changed slightly. My husband still cooks occasionally, but for the most part I do the cooking. I am the first to admit that I am not the most coordinated chef (I have been known to flick sautéed vegetables across the stove, fling tomato sauce up the cabinets, and dump a whole cup of couscous on the floor), so some days I really feel bad while I watch Jon clean up after me. Then I remind myself that it took 45 minutes to cook dinner, so the 20 he spends cleaning up is totally fair.
Before you start thinking we are one of those couples who happily divvied up the household chores, I should tell you that our “Whoever doesn’t cook, cleans” rule came out of a huge fight which included a major melt-down by yours truly. From this I learned:
Marriage lesson #1: Men are NOT mind readers. If I want my husband to do more around the house, I have to ask.
Marriage lesson #2: Men quickly learn that doing the dishes makes a wife happy. And a happy wife makes a happy husband (wink, wink).